Essays
Reflecting on the Dark Waters: How Hurricane Katrina Changed One Theologian's Perspective on Service (2006) - Mark Gstohl
Service to others was a central theme in the life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth. In fact, when Jesus' disciples discussed which of them was the greatest, Mark's gospel records Jesus reply: "Whoever wants to be first must be the last of all and servant of all" (Mark 9:35). As a Christian, I have always believed that it is not only one's duty to serve others, but that serving others is an experience of the Divine that changes both the one serving and the one being served. There are dangers associated with serving others. As with any action, if service is done or perceived to be done for the wrong motives it can be harmful. A friend of mine shared with me a story about a community service project that had ended in violence. Several African-American college students entered a poor area of New Orleans to "help poor kids and give them hope." However, that evening after the college students finished their project the "poor kids" they had helped entered the campus and damaged property. My friend had to explain to the confused college students that the children perceived the community service as an act by the students to demonstrate their superiority. In their attempt to provide hope and a helping hand to the children, the students' actions had been perceived as condescending. The problems facing the children in that community could not be alleviated in one weekend of service. The students had not taken the time to connect with the kids and understand their lives. Because the children believed that the students had determined what their needs were and acted on these needs without involving them in the process, they had been disrespected. This lack of respect led to embarrassment and it ultimately resulted in violence. People engaged in service must always be aware of the danger of being perceived as condescending or paternalistic when helping others. I have felt uncomfortable on a few occasions when I was on the receiving end of service. When I was in graduate school, our income was limited and we enrolled in a food program. I was uncomfortable having to rely on someone else to help feed my children. The experience made me feel inadequate as a parent. I wasn't used to being helped by others so the experience was difficult for me. Then, on August 29th of 2005, the experience of having to depend on others would become a necessity. Because I lived in New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina would change my family's life forever. Not only would I have to depend on relatives for housing, we would have to rely upon friends and even strangers to meet our needs. As Hurricane Katrina approached, our response was the same as usual: put anything in our yard that might become a dangerous projectile in the garage, pack up three-days-worth of clothes, lock the house, and leave as early as possible to avoid traffic. We spent the first two days of our journey near Houston, Texas. As we watched the storm grow and head toward our home, we traveled on to Tyler, Texas, to stay with my parents because we knew that we probably would not be able to go back to New Orleans for at least a week or so. We watched CNN as Katrina's fury slightly slowed and landed east of the city. We believed that the great hurricane that we had always feared, which would leave our beautiful city with ten feet of water in the streets, had not materialized after all. The pumps that had for years been draining every drop of rain from our below-sea-level city had worked! Things were not as bad as we thought. Then the levees failed. We immediately made plans for a long-term evacuation. Within hours we were headed to a small town in Tennessee to live with my wife's mother and to enroll my two children in rural schools. Four days into our ordeal we had been graciously served by my parents, and now we were about to be embraced by an entire community. Exhausted from traveling with two kids and a dog, along with the stress of having our lives completely disrupted, we were not able to travel from Tyler to Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee, in one day so we stopped in Jackson, Tennessee. We received a discount at the hotel because we were evacuees. We stopped in a Wal-Mart the next morning on the way to our destination because we needed to buy clothes and stock up on essentials. The pharmacist was gracious and understanding and probably broke a few rules for us because of our situation. The optometrist provided me with a free eye exam and contacts. I had ordered contacts a few weeks before, but the store was now probably flooded! I had not asked for free contacts. I merely asked if they had access to my prescription and records in New Orleans. Because they didn't have access to the records, I left the eye care center and began to shop for other items. I was soon approached by the eye care receptionist who had been looking throughout the store to find me. She smiled and said that the optometrist would see me immediately and provide a free eye exam! The staff was so helpful that I almost began to cry as I left the store with two boxes of contacts. When they asked if they could help me in any other ways I joked that I would be happy for them to help me clean out my refrigerator and freezer when I returned home in a few weeks. I hesitate to take this aside to provide you with the details about cleaning out my refrigerator and freezer, but honestly, reading about it does not even come close to actually having to do it! I returned home a week after Katrina hit New Orleans. My home is on what is called the "Westbank" which is a small area that's just across the Mississippi River and southeast of most of the city. Thankfully, our levees had held so our house was only damaged and not flooded. Our home had been without electricity for about a week. When my wife, my son, and I entered the home, it was about 95 degrees and the smell was horrible. As I was digging the four-foot-deep hole in my back yard to bury the shrimp and crawfish that had been festering in my refrigerator and freezer for six hot days I heard a neighbor in her back yard. I offered to help her dispose of her trash, but she had already done so. In this case, I really wasn't too disappointed at missing out on that opportunity to serve my neighbor. However, when another neighbor came by to check on me I was able to help her. She and her husband are New Orleans police officers. They were staying in an elementary school nearby with the other officers in their district. We were packing items from our pantry to take back to Tennessee and I asked her if she needed anything. She replied that she needed everything and was so excited that we had several containers of coffee. She was so thankful that she was able to clean out our pantry, and we were just as thankful to help someone who had spent the last week in horrible conditions trying to protect and serve our community. When we returned to Tennessee, we enrolled our children in the local schools. We were greeted with overwhelming kindness and support. My son, who is 16 years old, was able to play on the high school football team and made friends easily. They called him "hurricane boy" and were fascinated by his life in New Orleans. They thought it was so cool that he lived within walking distance of a Taco Bell and Burger King! My daughter was also well received in her elementary school and was soon invited to a sleep over. They were both enrolled in the free lunch programs at their schools, much to their embarrassment, because they were considered homeless. This was non-negotiable. My wife explained to school officials that she and I were still employed, but they insisted that we receive this benefit. Almost everyone we met in the small town we lived in for about six weeks recognized us as the "New Orleans family." It was partially due to the fact that the town was so small. Another clue was the LSU baseball cap I wore a lot. That sight was as unusual in the midst of the rabid University of Tennessee fans as a visitor from New Orleans. Because of my allegiance to the "fighting tigers" of LSU, many residents realized that I was an evacuee and asked about my plight. They showed compassion and concern and I even received special treatment at the local library. In order to ensure that my income continued, I applied for and received a sabbatical grant from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. I knew that this would help my employer, Xavier University of Louisiana, be better equipped to continue to employ as many of my colleagues as possible. However, in order to conduct the research required by the grant, I needed to spend a great deal of time at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. Meanwhile, my wife was soon required to return to New Orleans so that she would not lose her job there. I would spend the next four months away from my family. I would not have access to an automobile and I only knew one person in Nashville. I would have to depend on others more than I ever had before. I would have to rely on public transportation to purchase my food, clothes, and other essentials. It was very cold and lonely. My life had totally changed. I cannot begin to describe each act of kindness that I received during my time in Nashville and the impact that each had upon me. Several colleagues offered temporary teaching positions to me, but because of the uncertainty of my future and the desire to avoid having to move my family I was forced to decline their offers. Their compassion and concern for me and my family was encouraging and provided hope in the midst of my fears. During the 2005-2006 school year, my daughter experienced four first days of school. I didn't want her to have to experience any more change than was necessary. My friend John's wife Lyn was perhaps most helpful to me. She arranged an office in which I could conduct my research. She would check in on me every day and took me shopping and out to lunch on several occasions. In the midst of such agonizing loneliness, I had someone who cared about me and my family, took the time to think about what I needed, and provided for those needs. I hadn't asked her to help me find an office. She asked about where I worked and tried to make my work less burdensome. Lyn didn't wait for me to ask for help. She thought about what I needed, asked if I wanted her help, and then provided for my needs, whether it was offering me their car for the weekend or inviting me to help pick out pumpkins for Halloween. I also found friendship in a locally-owned restaurant about a block away from the retreat center where I resided while in Nashville. The owner was from New Orleans and their food was fantastic. I ate shrimp poboys, muffelettas, crab cakes, and gumbo at least twice a week. Scott shared my anger about the destruction of our great city by the failure of the levees. We talked for hours about the wonderful food and culture that makes New Orleans unique. Although I was miles away from my family, I often felt the warmth of being home. The manager, T.C., was also concerned about my plight and would often ask, "How are things in the chocolate city?" Five months after leaving Nashville we still keep in touch. Sometimes, just a look of concern was enough to lift my spirits and help me to deal with the myriad issues I faced. One morning as I sat in a coffee shop that I frequented, I became overwhelmed and began to cry. I was reading blog entries from my friends about their difficulties in dealing with the effects of Katrina and I just lost it. I was too upset to be embarrassed as I began to cry uncontrollably. The store was packed with customers. The store manager and I had had many conversations about where I was from and why I was in Nashville so he knew why I was upset. He made eye contact with me, shook his head, and glanced at the floor. Even though I sat in the midst of a room filled with people and had felt alone, I now knew someone cared about me and shared my pain. Prior to my experiences with Hurricane Katrina, my focus on serving others had been on how service enriched the life of the one who served. I was sensitive to the feelings of those being served, but I had not really spent a great deal of my time reflecting on how it might impact them. Because I am a theologian concerned with issues of liberation and justice, I spent most of my time reflecting on the dark waters of New Orleans to determine how the "unnatural" disaster came about and what it revealed about how people interact with each other and their environment. This is a noble task, and it is one to which I'd like to return one day. But for now, I am most grateful for and most consumed with how those men and women whom I met and relied upon for several months have changed me and taught me. I think, most importantly, their service and care helped me to overcome the alienation and loneliness I experienced. I never doubted that my wife, children, family and friends loved me. But let's be honest, they're supposed to love me! Their phone calls and emails helped to ease the pain of separation, but I needed more. Talking to a friend on the phone is very comforting, but when my friends Jerry and Angeles went out of their way to stop in Nashville to see me on their way back to New Orleans, my spirits were lifted for days! On many occasions I felt that having experienced the love and care of others had been an encounter with the Divine. Theologian Sallie McFague explains that when a person experiences love in the midst of suffering, they experience God's "yes" to love and God's "no" to pain and suffering. When one is confronted with great loss or pain, it is easy to view the world as a dark and lonely place. Watching a bus driver patiently give directions to a shivering man who could not read restored my belief in the power of love. Having a total stranger lend his bicycle to me for several months just because he wanted me to have fun on the weekends made every ride an encounter with grace. Prior to my experience in Nashville, I had always had a difficult time remembering the names of people I would meet. Now it is much easier for me to remember names. I have begun to see encounters with others as opportunities to demonstrate God's "yes" to love. I now know how much it can mean to someone that you care enough about them to remember their name or to share a knowing glance with them. It can be an opportunity to overcome the alienation and isolation we sometimes feel. I pray that this lesson that I learned will continue to impact me. I'm trying to share this lesson with others. My daughter and I had such a wonderful time together on Valentine's Day. I was back in New Orleans for good and wanted to make sure she understood how much I love her. As I thought about ways to show her how much I care without reducing the act to an endorsement of commercialism, it occurred to me that I needed to share with her the lessons I learned in Nashville. On Valentine's Day we delivered a care basket to a homeless girl who was about her age. She wrote a sweet note to let the girl know she was loved. The director of the homeless shelter was so grateful and surprised. She assured us that our idea would help to brighten the little girl's day. My daughter was so excited. I explained to her how meaningful it was for me to have been shown by others that I was loved when I was in Nashville. Hurricane Katrina was a terrible event. It impacted the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. However, acts of kindness, no matter how small, provide hope and comfort to those who are hurting. May the lessons learned from the tragedy enable us all to realize how much we need each other and how much we can overcome by taking the time to listen to others and show we care. It will not only change us, it will change the lives of others as well.
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Reflecting on the Dark Waters: How Hurricane Katrina Changed One Theologian's Perspective on Service (2006) - Mark Gstohl
Service to others was a central theme in the life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth. In fact, when Jesus' disciples discussed which of them was the greatest, Mark's gospel records Jesus reply: "Whoever wants to be first must be the last of all and servant of all" (Mark 9:35). As a Christian, I have always believed that it is not only one's duty to serve others, but that serving others is an experience of the Divine that changes both the one serving and the one being served. There are dangers associated with serving others. As with any action, if service is done or perceived to be done for the wrong motives it can be harmful. A friend of mine shared with me a story about a community service project that had ended in violence. Several African-American college students entered a poor area of New Orleans to "help poor kids and give them hope." However, that evening after the college students finished their project the "poor kids" they had helped entered the campus and damaged property. My friend had to explain to the confused college students that the children perceived the community service as an act by the students to demonstrate their superiority. In their attempt to provide hope and a helping hand to the children, the students' actions had been perceived as condescending. The problems facing the children in that community could not be alleviated in one weekend of service. The students had not taken the time to connect with the kids and understand their lives. Because the children believed that the students had determined what their needs were and acted on these needs without involving them in the process, they had been disrespected. This lack of respect led to embarrassment and it ultimately resulted in violence. People engaged in service must always be aware of the danger of being perceived as condescending or paternalistic when helping others. I have felt uncomfortable on a few occasions when I was on the receiving end of service. When I was in graduate school, our income was limited and we enrolled in a food program. I was uncomfortable having to rely on someone else to help feed my children. The experience made me feel inadequate as a parent. I wasn't used to being helped by others so the experience was difficult for me. Then, on August 29th of 2005, the experience of having to depend on others would become a necessity. Because I lived in New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina would change my family's life forever. Not only would I have to depend on relatives for housing, we would have to rely upon friends and even strangers to meet our needs. As Hurricane Katrina approached, our response was the same as usual: put anything in our yard that might become a dangerous projectile in the garage, pack up three-days-worth of clothes, lock the house, and leave as early as possible to avoid traffic. We spent the first two days of our journey near Houston, Texas. As we watched the storm grow and head toward our home, we traveled on to Tyler, Texas, to stay with my parents because we knew that we probably would not be able to go back to New Orleans for at least a week or so. We watched CNN as Katrina's fury slightly slowed and landed east of the city. We believed that the great hurricane that we had always feared, which would leave our beautiful city with ten feet of water in the streets, had not materialized after all. The pumps that had for years been draining every drop of rain from our below-sea-level city had worked! Things were not as bad as we thought. Then the levees failed. We immediately made plans for a long-term evacuation. Within hours we were headed to a small town in Tennessee to live with my wife's mother and to enroll my two children in rural schools. Four days into our ordeal we had been graciously served by my parents, and now we were about to be embraced by an entire community. Exhausted from traveling with two kids and a dog, along with the stress of having our lives completely disrupted, we were not able to travel from Tyler to Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee, in one day so we stopped in Jackson, Tennessee. We received a discount at the hotel because we were evacuees. We stopped in a Wal-Mart the next morning on the way to our destination because we needed to buy clothes and stock up on essentials. The pharmacist was gracious and understanding and probably broke a few rules for us because of our situation. The optometrist provided me with a free eye exam and contacts. I had ordered contacts a few weeks before, but the store was now probably flooded! I had not asked for free contacts. I merely asked if they had access to my prescription and records in New Orleans. Because they didn't have access to the records, I left the eye care center and began to shop for other items. I was soon approached by the eye care receptionist who had been looking throughout the store to find me. She smiled and said that the optometrist would see me immediately and provide a free eye exam! The staff was so helpful that I almost began to cry as I left the store with two boxes of contacts. When they asked if they could help me in any other ways I joked that I would be happy for them to help me clean out my refrigerator and freezer when I returned home in a few weeks. I hesitate to take this aside to provide you with the details about cleaning out my refrigerator and freezer, but honestly, reading about it does not even come close to actually having to do it! I returned home a week after Katrina hit New Orleans. My home is on what is called the "Westbank" which is a small area that's just across the Mississippi River and southeast of most of the city. Thankfully, our levees had held so our house was only damaged and not flooded. Our home had been without electricity for about a week. When my wife, my son, and I entered the home, it was about 95 degrees and the smell was horrible. As I was digging the four-foot-deep hole in my back yard to bury the shrimp and crawfish that had been festering in my refrigerator and freezer for six hot days I heard a neighbor in her back yard. I offered to help her dispose of her trash, but she had already done so. In this case, I really wasn't too disappointed at missing out on that opportunity to serve my neighbor. However, when another neighbor came by to check on me I was able to help her. She and her husband are New Orleans police officers. They were staying in an elementary school nearby with the other officers in their district. We were packing items from our pantry to take back to Tennessee and I asked her if she needed anything. She replied that she needed everything and was so excited that we had several containers of coffee. She was so thankful that she was able to clean out our pantry, and we were just as thankful to help someone who had spent the last week in horrible conditions trying to protect and serve our community. When we returned to Tennessee, we enrolled our children in the local schools. We were greeted with overwhelming kindness and support. My son, who is 16 years old, was able to play on the high school football team and made friends easily. They called him "hurricane boy" and were fascinated by his life in New Orleans. They thought it was so cool that he lived within walking distance of a Taco Bell and Burger King! My daughter was also well received in her elementary school and was soon invited to a sleep over. They were both enrolled in the free lunch programs at their schools, much to their embarrassment, because they were considered homeless. This was non-negotiable. My wife explained to school officials that she and I were still employed, but they insisted that we receive this benefit. Almost everyone we met in the small town we lived in for about six weeks recognized us as the "New Orleans family." It was partially due to the fact that the town was so small. Another clue was the LSU baseball cap I wore a lot. That sight was as unusual in the midst of the rabid University of Tennessee fans as a visitor from New Orleans. Because of my allegiance to the "fighting tigers" of LSU, many residents realized that I was an evacuee and asked about my plight. They showed compassion and concern and I even received special treatment at the local library. In order to ensure that my income continued, I applied for and received a sabbatical grant from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. I knew that this would help my employer, Xavier University of Louisiana, be better equipped to continue to employ as many of my colleagues as possible. However, in order to conduct the research required by the grant, I needed to spend a great deal of time at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. Meanwhile, my wife was soon required to return to New Orleans so that she would not lose her job there. I would spend the next four months away from my family. I would not have access to an automobile and I only knew one person in Nashville. I would have to depend on others more than I ever had before. I would have to rely on public transportation to purchase my food, clothes, and other essentials. It was very cold and lonely. My life had totally changed. I cannot begin to describe each act of kindness that I received during my time in Nashville and the impact that each had upon me. Several colleagues offered temporary teaching positions to me, but because of the uncertainty of my future and the desire to avoid having to move my family I was forced to decline their offers. Their compassion and concern for me and my family was encouraging and provided hope in the midst of my fears. During the 2005-2006 school year, my daughter experienced four first days of school. I didn't want her to have to experience any more change than was necessary. My friend John's wife Lyn was perhaps most helpful to me. She arranged an office in which I could conduct my research. She would check in on me every day and took me shopping and out to lunch on several occasions. In the midst of such agonizing loneliness, I had someone who cared about me and my family, took the time to think about what I needed, and provided for those needs. I hadn't asked her to help me find an office. She asked about where I worked and tried to make my work less burdensome. Lyn didn't wait for me to ask for help. She thought about what I needed, asked if I wanted her help, and then provided for my needs, whether it was offering me their car for the weekend or inviting me to help pick out pumpkins for Halloween. I also found friendship in a locally-owned restaurant about a block away from the retreat center where I resided while in Nashville. The owner was from New Orleans and their food was fantastic. I ate shrimp poboys, muffelettas, crab cakes, and gumbo at least twice a week. Scott shared my anger about the destruction of our great city by the failure of the levees. We talked for hours about the wonderful food and culture that makes New Orleans unique. Although I was miles away from my family, I often felt the warmth of being home. The manager, T.C., was also concerned about my plight and would often ask, "How are things in the chocolate city?" Five months after leaving Nashville we still keep in touch. Sometimes, just a look of concern was enough to lift my spirits and help me to deal with the myriad issues I faced. One morning as I sat in a coffee shop that I frequented, I became overwhelmed and began to cry. I was reading blog entries from my friends about their difficulties in dealing with the effects of Katrina and I just lost it. I was too upset to be embarrassed as I began to cry uncontrollably. The store was packed with customers. The store manager and I had had many conversations about where I was from and why I was in Nashville so he knew why I was upset. He made eye contact with me, shook his head, and glanced at the floor. Even though I sat in the midst of a room filled with people and had felt alone, I now knew someone cared about me and shared my pain. Prior to my experiences with Hurricane Katrina, my focus on serving others had been on how service enriched the life of the one who served. I was sensitive to the feelings of those being served, but I had not really spent a great deal of my time reflecting on how it might impact them. Because I am a theologian concerned with issues of liberation and justice, I spent most of my time reflecting on the dark waters of New Orleans to determine how the "unnatural" disaster came about and what it revealed about how people interact with each other and their environment. This is a noble task, and it is one to which I'd like to return one day. But for now, I am most grateful for and most consumed with how those men and women whom I met and relied upon for several months have changed me and taught me. I think, most importantly, their service and care helped me to overcome the alienation and loneliness I experienced. I never doubted that my wife, children, family and friends loved me. But let's be honest, they're supposed to love me! Their phone calls and emails helped to ease the pain of separation, but I needed more. Talking to a friend on the phone is very comforting, but when my friends Jerry and Angeles went out of their way to stop in Nashville to see me on their way back to New Orleans, my spirits were lifted for days! On many occasions I felt that having experienced the love and care of others had been an encounter with the Divine. Theologian Sallie McFague explains that when a person experiences love in the midst of suffering, they experience God's "yes" to love and God's "no" to pain and suffering. When one is confronted with great loss or pain, it is easy to view the world as a dark and lonely place. Watching a bus driver patiently give directions to a shivering man who could not read restored my belief in the power of love. Having a total stranger lend his bicycle to me for several months just because he wanted me to have fun on the weekends made every ride an encounter with grace. Prior to my experience in Nashville, I had always had a difficult time remembering the names of people I would meet. Now it is much easier for me to remember names. I have begun to see encounters with others as opportunities to demonstrate God's "yes" to love. I now know how much it can mean to someone that you care enough about them to remember their name or to share a knowing glance with them. It can be an opportunity to overcome the alienation and isolation we sometimes feel. I pray that this lesson that I learned will continue to impact me. I'm trying to share this lesson with others. My daughter and I had such a wonderful time together on Valentine's Day. I was back in New Orleans for good and wanted to make sure she understood how much I love her. As I thought about ways to show her how much I care without reducing the act to an endorsement of commercialism, it occurred to me that I needed to share with her the lessons I learned in Nashville. On Valentine's Day we delivered a care basket to a homeless girl who was about her age. She wrote a sweet note to let the girl know she was loved. The director of the homeless shelter was so grateful and surprised. She assured us that our idea would help to brighten the little girl's day. My daughter was so excited. I explained to her how meaningful it was for me to have been shown by others that I was loved when I was in Nashville. Hurricane Katrina was a terrible event. It impacted the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. However, acts of kindness, no matter how small, provide hope and comfort to those who are hurting. May the lessons learned from the tragedy enable us all to realize how much we need each other and how much we can overcome by taking the time to listen to others and show we care. It will not only change us, it will change the lives of others as well.
